i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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