i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
