these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
