the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
please come you make the beer taste better
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
