I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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