First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
