i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you had me at cake vodka
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
