I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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