A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
jump out the window naked night went bad
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
