eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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