im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
