I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think people are normalizing furries
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
