Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
