you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
