I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
