4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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