i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
