i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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