I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize