i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
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Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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