You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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