i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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