the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
