I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
