the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
