I swear she didn't look like that last week.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
