We won't sleep together?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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