Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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