All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
