all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
