you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
