I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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