I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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