my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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