My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
