You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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