You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize