Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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