I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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