I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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