why didn't you poke me back
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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