Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
