i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
