Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
