What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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