i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
