Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize