I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
