obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
