And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
time to smoke my breakfast
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
