do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
