Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
