Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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