If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
