I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
birth control should be required to get into college
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you had me at cake vodka
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
