I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just come out here and I will go home with you...
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
