"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize