Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
